we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
