good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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