just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize