Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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