ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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