does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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