I want to make a zoo with you.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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