benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
