so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
