I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
