i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
