just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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