Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
