I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
