Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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