As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
