My nipple is on Facebook.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
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