I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
