i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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