i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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