HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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