so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
