sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
