I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
