My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
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