They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
