She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Hello my rib-scented angel!
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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