She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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