So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Acid is not a monday night drug
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
