We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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