I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.