I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
