I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too