I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies