he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
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Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.