i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
