I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
