The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
