I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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