Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
