OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
