I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
