If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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