so explain again why im purple
no
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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