So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
