you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
