It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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