We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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