A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
