Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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