I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
