She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
