I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
