No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Randomize
