After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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