plz talk dirty to me
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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