you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize
