It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
