i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
