I'm lost and stupid without you.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Randomize
