I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
