Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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