At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
