currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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