plz talk dirty to me
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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