Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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