how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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